Double Post COOOMMMBO B-B-BREAKER / by Phu Qui Nguyen

Feeling on a high right now.  I always had that unnerving feeling when pulling the trigger to make things happen.  You know that feeling you get before the final exam (not looking at the curve setters here!), all the studying in the world would not have helped.  You had to make a decision to ditch the country and run away to your nearest border and find refuge so you wouldn't dishonor the family hahah.  Maybe not, cultural upbringings!!  Sorry, well, so I always search and search and try to make excuses for myself on this unnerving feeling.  "It's not the right time." "I have so many other things."  "I have to x, y, z."  And believe me, just like everyone, we could always be doing something else.  All too easy to jump to safe routes, plan for success, and things work out.  Well, I'm here to say, dangerous routes takes planning too!   And not so much the reality of danger, but the possibility of the normal perception that makes futures unsafe, what-ifs, who knows...  

It's always, "The start that's the hardest," they say.   Forget the start.  It's hardest when you realize you have actual responsibilities.  Bills, children (I have a cute tabby cat), projects on the burner, projects burned and you have to re-cook.  Well you started a hundred other things, why should you start another is where I'm getting at.  Take responsibility, take hold of the things that are growing in your life before you can decide to be selfish.  All too soon, we likely choose to leave things as they were, and guess what they're still there when you left.  One hard realization that I've learned while working abroad was all the loose ends I left behind were still patiently waiting for me when I got home.  One step at a time is all.  So take a deep breath.  Make a list. And knock a few things out of the park so you can be at peace. 

Dear Buddha, God, Yahweh, E.T., please help me lift these boxes, clear these post dated checks at the bank, and watch my new borns for a few weeks as I need more than spiritual guidance...